March 31st a wonderful friend and man of God passed away, after suffering from a horrible debilitating disease for over 2 years. I went to his funeral- my first funeral since James'- and cried and worshipped the whole way through.
Murray had been our MPP for years, then a familiar voice on CKNX as Farm Editor. I remember getting the MPPs' Christmas postcards in the mail as a child, then hearing his wonderful sonorous voice from the radio while milking cows, or cleaning stables through my teen years.
Ironically, at the age of 23, I met the young man who would become my husband, and as I got to know him, I found out he was related to Murray through his mother's side! Years passed, and we moved to live on Brian's family farm, now owned by his brother. We started going to church in the nearby town. I met, and became friends with a wonderful woman by the name of Stephanie, and as our friendship grew, I found out she was Murray's daughter! Murray and his wife also attended the same church, and I was blessed to get to know them personally, and to be blessed by this wonderful man's faith and attitude.
James loved him. He would start chuckling the moment Murray's booming voice came within hearing range. Whether it was at church, or on the radio, James KNEW his friend Murray. After Murray became ill, we prayed and worried while Dr after Dr failed to discover the diagnosis. Murray finally became dependant upon a g-tube for nourishment.
James was thrilled. It may seem odd to others, but finally, James' good friend had something James had! And James didn't consider his g-tube to be an issue! I was able to share James' excitement with Murray, and even though by this time Murray was having trouble speaking, the smile that spread across his face and the sound of his deep chuckles remain with me even now.
So I praised and wept my way through Murray's funeral, never once looking at the date on the program. Until the final hymn.
April 4, 2009.
8 months to the day since James met the Lord.
I lost it. Seriously. Thankfully no one heard my sobs coming from inside the church library where I hid.
Afterwards, at the reception, I told Murray's wife, Pat, that I knew in my heart that James had been waiting at the Gate to welcome his friend Murray to Heaven. There's no way a friend of James' would not get a hero's welcome. No way.
Two friends. Healed.
Not in the way we had hoped when we prayed fervently for healing, but in the way that God knew was best.
And that's ok. It really is. For God has numbered our days before we are even created in the womb. And God knows what He's doing. Thank you Father, for healing two friends, and for comforting us as we grieve their absence from our lives.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Experiences pt.2
I'm an airhead....I completely forgot until now that one of the new experiences I had last week was starting the arrangements for James' headstone. A dear woman from our church happens to be a very talented stone artist. She has agreed to do James' headstone for us.
So, we headed to London to pick up our new trailer, and phoned her while we were there to see if she could squeeze us into her day- we already had an appointment set for me to meet with her in Wingham the next week, but that would be by myself, and Brian was with me that day.
She said "Sure", so off we went. Sans trailer...the guys at the dealership were still doing their thing.
I thought I was ready.
I was not.
Let me simply say that I sincerely hope no one on the earth ever has to do the same thing again before Christ redeems His people.
On the plus side, Cheryl is awesome. And James' stone, I'm sure, will be an awesome testament to his life and who he was.
On the negative side- emotionally and financially- headstones are priced up there along with diamonds, platinum, and uranium. Nice headstones go up from there.
http://customrockcreations.ca/
So, we headed to London to pick up our new trailer, and phoned her while we were there to see if she could squeeze us into her day- we already had an appointment set for me to meet with her in Wingham the next week, but that would be by myself, and Brian was with me that day.
She said "Sure", so off we went. Sans trailer...the guys at the dealership were still doing their thing.
I thought I was ready.
I was not.
Let me simply say that I sincerely hope no one on the earth ever has to do the same thing again before Christ redeems His people.
On the plus side, Cheryl is awesome. And James' stone, I'm sure, will be an awesome testament to his life and who he was.
On the negative side- emotionally and financially- headstones are priced up there along with diamonds, platinum, and uranium. Nice headstones go up from there.
http://customrockcreations.ca/
New experiences...some good, some bad.
I guess that's life, isn't it? All the good, and the bad, added together makes a life. A pretty good one too, in my mind.
We've started to morph a new family plan into action. Losing James rocked our world, there's no doubt, but the honest truth is it also set us free in a lot of ways.
That will shock some people. That we would admit that. I love him dearly, and would not trade a second of being his mom, but truthfully, having a severely physically disabled child restricts your fmily activities to a large degree.
The girls loved him too, and were incredibly generous about the restrictions we faced. But I have to admit, it's easy to get used to "normalcy" and being able to say things like "Let's go to a movie." or "Why don't we go camping this summer?". Incredibly easy.
So we took the plunge and purchased our first trailer. Used, and a hybrid, which made it much more affordable than the glorified houses on wheels some people own....but it suits our needs perfectly, and it's ours. Then we purchased a truck....and in doing so passed another "post James" threshhold....no minivan. No room for wheelchairs, feeding pumps, seating paraphenalia, and all that goes with severe CP. I've driven a minivan since he got too big for me to swing easily into a car seat....and pictured myself driving one when I was old and grey, to be frank.
Brian has quit smoking, to better enjoy (and pay for) our new lifestyle. Cold turkey, and I must say- he's doing amazingly well!
53 days until Disney too.
I almost don't recognize us! But it's my life, and I like it.
We've started to morph a new family plan into action. Losing James rocked our world, there's no doubt, but the honest truth is it also set us free in a lot of ways.
That will shock some people. That we would admit that. I love him dearly, and would not trade a second of being his mom, but truthfully, having a severely physically disabled child restricts your fmily activities to a large degree.
The girls loved him too, and were incredibly generous about the restrictions we faced. But I have to admit, it's easy to get used to "normalcy" and being able to say things like "Let's go to a movie." or "Why don't we go camping this summer?". Incredibly easy.
So we took the plunge and purchased our first trailer. Used, and a hybrid, which made it much more affordable than the glorified houses on wheels some people own....but it suits our needs perfectly, and it's ours. Then we purchased a truck....and in doing so passed another "post James" threshhold....no minivan. No room for wheelchairs, feeding pumps, seating paraphenalia, and all that goes with severe CP. I've driven a minivan since he got too big for me to swing easily into a car seat....and pictured myself driving one when I was old and grey, to be frank.
Brian has quit smoking, to better enjoy (and pay for) our new lifestyle. Cold turkey, and I must say- he's doing amazingly well!
53 days until Disney too.
I almost don't recognize us! But it's my life, and I like it.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Woohooooo! Having a "magical day"!
Today it is 89 days until we begin our first ever Walt Disney World vacation! That's right...I have managed to accumulate a contingent of 5 weirdos who have never in their lives set foot in the place that every other person in Narth America has been to. Or so it seems.
And today I received an email from our Disney Travel Agent, a wonder named Cindy, stating she had managed to secure ALL the Advance Dining Reservations we requested, exactly WHEN we wanted them! This, people, is apparently as rare as hidden Mickeys! As well, our reservations for both the Bibbity Bobbity Salon, and the Pirate Cruise are also locked in!
We have also been blessed to the heavens by a wonderful lady who had planned on taking her step-grandchildren this year, until her son-in-law requested a divorce and refused to allow the trip. She has gone to ridiculous, but highly appreciated lengths to spoil our girls- whom she has never met- absolutely silly. Passports for Epcot, scrapbooks, jewelry, journals, Disney Dollars, and more. I only "met" this kind lady online, and she has chosen to help make our trip of a lifetime even more memorable, all the while thanking ME for allowing her to do so! Imagine...thanking ME!
I also remembered to go online and do our seat assignments for our flight down....8 more days until I can do the same for the return trip. All is falling into place.
I feel blessed....again.
And today I received an email from our Disney Travel Agent, a wonder named Cindy, stating she had managed to secure ALL the Advance Dining Reservations we requested, exactly WHEN we wanted them! This, people, is apparently as rare as hidden Mickeys! As well, our reservations for both the Bibbity Bobbity Salon, and the Pirate Cruise are also locked in!
We have also been blessed to the heavens by a wonderful lady who had planned on taking her step-grandchildren this year, until her son-in-law requested a divorce and refused to allow the trip. She has gone to ridiculous, but highly appreciated lengths to spoil our girls- whom she has never met- absolutely silly. Passports for Epcot, scrapbooks, jewelry, journals, Disney Dollars, and more. I only "met" this kind lady online, and she has chosen to help make our trip of a lifetime even more memorable, all the while thanking ME for allowing her to do so! Imagine...thanking ME!
I also remembered to go online and do our seat assignments for our flight down....8 more days until I can do the same for the return trip. All is falling into place.
I feel blessed....again.
Monday, January 12, 2009
I am not doing well. There. I said it.
Last Monday I spent the day curled up in my bed sobbing.
Ditto Tuesday. My arms now feel as if I have pulled every muscle in them. But it's b/c they're not around a certain boy. Not because of overwork of any type.
Wednesday and Thursday I managed to keep it together long enough to work.
Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Down and out with a "cycle from Hell", and a feeling that my head was floating somehwere around three feet above my body. Blood loss and fluid loss may be culprits.
Today. Deep betrayal by a friend who should "know me better". Why does sin continue to surprise me?
Today. I watch Angie Smith's, my hero's, video of her short earthly time with her 4th daughter, Audrey Caroline. And the sobs wracked my body again. For both of us.
And yet. As I said to Angie on her blog (http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com). It IS well with my soul.
Thank you, my Father.
Ditto Tuesday. My arms now feel as if I have pulled every muscle in them. But it's b/c they're not around a certain boy. Not because of overwork of any type.
Wednesday and Thursday I managed to keep it together long enough to work.
Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Down and out with a "cycle from Hell", and a feeling that my head was floating somehwere around three feet above my body. Blood loss and fluid loss may be culprits.
Today. Deep betrayal by a friend who should "know me better". Why does sin continue to surprise me?
Today. I watch Angie Smith's, my hero's, video of her short earthly time with her 4th daughter, Audrey Caroline. And the sobs wracked my body again. For both of us.
And yet. As I said to Angie on her blog (http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com). It IS well with my soul.
Thank you, my Father.
Monday, December 22, 2008
1940-something to 2008...times have changed? Maybe not.
My Grandpa tells a story in his memoire about my Grandma back when they were relative newlyweds. My Grandpa was an inventor/farmer, and a forward thinking man. So when he built their home in the late 1930's he wired it for electricity, even though it was not yet available in their rural area.
He relates the day some years later, when walking up the lane from a day in the fields, that he sees my Grandma- then a young 1940's housewife- running and skipping down the lane towards him, while behind her shone the bright lights provided by their new hydro service, gleaming out of every room of the house! Her joy and pleasure was shining out of her face with the same brilliance of the new lightbulbs throughout their house.
This story sticks in my mind and memory...not only b/c it's hard to equate that young housewife with the much older, calm, and roly-poly Grandma of my memories with the picture he paints, but b/c it struck me then how unappreciative our generation is of all our blessings. Want some light? Flick a switch. Want some heat? Turn up the thermostat.
Today I appreciate. Today I am that (somewhat older than she was) happy housewife, basking in the heat of our new furnace. Today I remembered to thank my Father for His precious blessings.
I rolled out of bed, and as my feet hit the floor, I realized how warm that floor was. Not to mention the air above the floor! For the first time in almost 2 years, the heat was not dependant upon my lighting a fire, coaxing it to life, then shivering over the top of our woodstove until the heat expanded through the downstairs.
I am spoiled. Spoiled beyond my imagining. Help me to appreciate, Father. Help me to treasure your gifts.
He relates the day some years later, when walking up the lane from a day in the fields, that he sees my Grandma- then a young 1940's housewife- running and skipping down the lane towards him, while behind her shone the bright lights provided by their new hydro service, gleaming out of every room of the house! Her joy and pleasure was shining out of her face with the same brilliance of the new lightbulbs throughout their house.
This story sticks in my mind and memory...not only b/c it's hard to equate that young housewife with the much older, calm, and roly-poly Grandma of my memories with the picture he paints, but b/c it struck me then how unappreciative our generation is of all our blessings. Want some light? Flick a switch. Want some heat? Turn up the thermostat.
Today I appreciate. Today I am that (somewhat older than she was) happy housewife, basking in the heat of our new furnace. Today I remembered to thank my Father for His precious blessings.
I rolled out of bed, and as my feet hit the floor, I realized how warm that floor was. Not to mention the air above the floor! For the first time in almost 2 years, the heat was not dependant upon my lighting a fire, coaxing it to life, then shivering over the top of our woodstove until the heat expanded through the downstairs.
I am spoiled. Spoiled beyond my imagining. Help me to appreciate, Father. Help me to treasure your gifts.
Friday, December 19, 2008
I haveth a furnace-eth!!!
WooHooooooo!! I am basking in the warmth of non-Laura made heat!
And enjoying our cats freaking out as they experience heat blasting out of our registers for the first time in their lives! Boots was sashaying past the register in the bathroom when the fan kicked on. Hilarious! I think he hit a record in direct upwards leaps! Then he had to turn about and stalk the draft....Now he's spending a ridiculous amount of time sitting in the bathroom doorway staring at the register....
I didn't realize how much I missed non-woodstove heat until today! Don't get me wrong, I still firmly believe there's no heat as nice as woodstove heat, but this sure is nice! *sigh* I'm going to go stand on a register for a while.
And enjoying our cats freaking out as they experience heat blasting out of our registers for the first time in their lives! Boots was sashaying past the register in the bathroom when the fan kicked on. Hilarious! I think he hit a record in direct upwards leaps! Then he had to turn about and stalk the draft....Now he's spending a ridiculous amount of time sitting in the bathroom doorway staring at the register....
I didn't realize how much I missed non-woodstove heat until today! Don't get me wrong, I still firmly believe there's no heat as nice as woodstove heat, but this sure is nice! *sigh* I'm going to go stand on a register for a while.
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