Neat experience...

The girls and I have been attending a new church (well, new to us, lol) for a couple of months now. About a month ago, a young lady came up to me after church as we were in the entranceway and asked if I was James' mom. I said, yes I was/am....I thought to myself that she looked a bit familiar....

She told me she'd been James' caregiver about 6 years ago. I remembered her...she and her twin sister shared the job for the summer...

She told me she had just graduated nursing school...






....and that that summer with James had shaped her life, and helped her realize she wanted to be a nurse...all because of him. I promptly lost it. Bawled like a baby right there....











My boy lives on. I don't know if I will EVER see the full scope of his effect on people during his short life. His funeral overwhelmed me with the sheer numbers of people he'd touched....and two years after that, people are still coming forward.

Thanks Erin....you made my year.

Wow...time flies, and things change...

My last post, I said I didn't know what I'd do when my new job ended...well, it ended up NOT ending. In fact, I find myself the owner (as of April 1st) of the salon....wow. One thing I always said I wouldn't do....own a salon. I DO detest the paperwork, but I still love my ladies. Fran has passed away, and others have come to my salon. I enjoy all of them. I wish it would grow faster, but I'm stumped as to how. Spent money on an ad in the paper...nada. Have ads up everywhere I can think of, nada. Time will tell. The residents pay the bills though, plus a tad more, so I guess I have a bit of time....

On to other things...the girls had their week at Camp Cherith...Melissa's first year, and she loved it!

Three weeks until our holidays in Port Huron. Can't wait.

Almost two years since my boy left us. My arms still ache for him every day. But I know I will see him again, and I know he is healed. Thank you, Lord. How do non-believers survive this pain? I've wondered that every day for almost two years now.

Life is crazy....but "It's a Wonderful Life"!

Sorry, but with Christmas fast approaching, the quote "had to be done". :)

Time flies these days. In August, I started a new part-time job. I didn't quit my old one, I just added one. A friend of a friend owns a salon in a retirement home. She was about to have her first baby, and was looking for someone to take over the salon for her maternity leave. Thankfully, a different friend found out she had my name in time to warn me...so I wasn't totally gob-smacked when the phone rang 3 hours later with the offer.

Can I just say? Working with the seniors was my favourite part of any salon job I had....they have led such incredible lives, and have such rich advice to share! And this new job has not disappointed. From feisty Audrey and Laura, who proudly wear red each Friday to honour our troops, to Fran who weighs 96 pounds soaking wet, and sneaks chocolates like they're going out of style....from happy-go-lucky Blanche to my British "lady" Ella, I love them all....

It leads me to wonder...what am I going to do when this job ends? These ladies have already won my heart. It seems bizarre to think that someday soon I might not see them twice a week! I'm thinking Tuesday afternoons I might just have to join the weekly Scrabble game in the diningroom, whether I work there or not!

I haven't yet figured out how to find the time to "do" everything...laundry piles up, dust bunnies terrorize the living. I have no idea how mothers who work 5 days per week do everything! The Proverbs 31 woman was nuts! I'm thankful to grab onto the explanation that she is a compilation of several women, not just one...b/c otherwise, I don't have a prayer!

It feels like I only post after funerals...

Weird, but seemingly true. Not sure what that says about me, but oh well!

One year has passed. Two days are affected. The actual Civic Holiday Monday, and the 4th, whatever day that may fall on. This year, a Tuesday.

Monday we were still at Splash Canyon, a diversion, having fun. And driving home, through our wonderful scenic Ontario countryside.

Tuesday I spent at an old friend's house, lending her my shoulder, my dish-washing hands, my ears, and my expertise as a mother who has buried a son. Her son, one of twins, her baby, passed away on Friday night in a tragic farm accident. He was three. He was beautiful.

Strangely, or perhaps not, it helped me to spend the day there. It helped me, to help her. It helped me to be able to look her in the eye and assure her her numbness was normal, and would leave. To assure her her memory loss was normal, and would leave. To assure her her frustration with others was normal, and would leave. To share with her, and learn from her, of the Father's goodness, even in this time of sorrow and pain.

It helped both of us to see her other boys laughing. To make our hands busy doing for them.

And last night, when I could not sleep, I realized my boy had greeted another friend at Heaven's gates. I don't think I ever realized he might have to greet someone younger than he.

This morning I went back, and helped to coordinate and dress 5 males of various ages in a variety of outfits. I teased the twin, who has lost his other half, into clothing, gigles, and a wild leap off the kitchen table into my arms. Nothing has ever sounded better than those innocent giggles. Nothing has ever felt better than that clean, warm, squiggly body in my arms.

And my Father reminded me that life is always so....joy and comfort mixed with the pain and sorrow.

And that's what gets us through.

Tomorrow night, two families who have been down the same sorrowful road of burying a young boy far too soon will be wearing off steam with a whipped cream fight in the back yard.

And that, my friends, is why we're on this earth. To share and to love. And to get a little messy in the backyard with food.

Another day, another funeral.

March 31st a wonderful friend and man of God passed away, after suffering from a horrible debilitating disease for over 2 years. I went to his funeral- my first funeral since James'- and cried and worshipped the whole way through.

Murray had been our MPP for years, then a familiar voice on CKNX as Farm Editor. I remember getting the MPPs' Christmas postcards in the mail as a child, then hearing his wonderful sonorous voice from the radio while milking cows, or cleaning stables through my teen years.

Ironically, at the age of 23, I met the young man who would become my husband, and as I got to know him, I found out he was related to Murray through his mother's side! Years passed, and we moved to live on Brian's family farm, now owned by his brother. We started going to church in the nearby town. I met, and became friends with a wonderful woman by the name of Stephanie, and as our friendship grew, I found out she was Murray's daughter! Murray and his wife also attended the same church, and I was blessed to get to know them personally, and to be blessed by this wonderful man's faith and attitude.

James loved him. He would start chuckling the moment Murray's booming voice came within hearing range. Whether it was at church, or on the radio, James KNEW his friend Murray. After Murray became ill, we prayed and worried while Dr after Dr failed to discover the diagnosis. Murray finally became dependant upon a g-tube for nourishment.

James was thrilled. It may seem odd to others, but finally, James' good friend had something James had! And James didn't consider his g-tube to be an issue! I was able to share James' excitement with Murray, and even though by this time Murray was having trouble speaking, the smile that spread across his face and the sound of his deep chuckles remain with me even now.

So I praised and wept my way through Murray's funeral, never once looking at the date on the program. Until the final hymn.

April 4, 2009.

8 months to the day since James met the Lord.

I lost it. Seriously. Thankfully no one heard my sobs coming from inside the church library where I hid.

Afterwards, at the reception, I told Murray's wife, Pat, that I knew in my heart that James had been waiting at the Gate to welcome his friend Murray to Heaven. There's no way a friend of James' would not get a hero's welcome. No way.

Two friends. Healed.

Not in the way we had hoped when we prayed fervently for healing, but in the way that God knew was best.

And that's ok. It really is. For God has numbered our days before we are even created in the womb. And God knows what He's doing. Thank you Father, for healing two friends, and for comforting us as we grieve their absence from our lives.

Experiences pt.2

I'm an airhead....I completely forgot until now that one of the new experiences I had last week was starting the arrangements for James' headstone. A dear woman from our church happens to be a very talented stone artist. She has agreed to do James' headstone for us.

So, we headed to London to pick up our new trailer, and phoned her while we were there to see if she could squeeze us into her day- we already had an appointment set for me to meet with her in Wingham the next week, but that would be by myself, and Brian was with me that day.

She said "Sure", so off we went. Sans trailer...the guys at the dealership were still doing their thing.

I thought I was ready.

I was not.

Let me simply say that I sincerely hope no one on the earth ever has to do the same thing again before Christ redeems His people.

On the plus side, Cheryl is awesome. And James' stone, I'm sure, will be an awesome testament to his life and who he was.

On the negative side- emotionally and financially- headstones are priced up there along with diamonds, platinum, and uranium. Nice headstones go up from there.

http://customrockcreations.ca/

New experiences...some good, some bad.

I guess that's life, isn't it? All the good, and the bad, added together makes a life. A pretty good one too, in my mind.

We've started to morph a new family plan into action. Losing James rocked our world, there's no doubt, but the honest truth is it also set us free in a lot of ways.

That will shock some people. That we would admit that. I love him dearly, and would not trade a second of being his mom, but truthfully, having a severely physically disabled child restricts your fmily activities to a large degree.

The girls loved him too, and were incredibly generous about the restrictions we faced. But I have to admit, it's easy to get used to "normalcy" and being able to say things like "Let's go to a movie." or "Why don't we go camping this summer?". Incredibly easy.

So we took the plunge and purchased our first trailer. Used, and a hybrid, which made it much more affordable than the glorified houses on wheels some people own....but it suits our needs perfectly, and it's ours. Then we purchased a truck....and in doing so passed another "post James" threshhold....no minivan. No room for wheelchairs, feeding pumps, seating paraphenalia, and all that goes with severe CP. I've driven a minivan since he got too big for me to swing easily into a car seat....and pictured myself driving one when I was old and grey, to be frank.

Brian has quit smoking, to better enjoy (and pay for) our new lifestyle. Cold turkey, and I must say- he's doing amazingly well!

53 days until Disney too.

I almost don't recognize us! But it's my life, and I like it.